6 Seconds of Summer
by JumpyFTW
Summary: "Wait, isn't it supposed to be 5?" "Shut up, Junpei." Comedy AU without Nonary Game.


**DISCLAIMER: **_**Zero Escape: 9 Hours, 9 Persons, 9 Doors**_** belongs to Chunsoft and Aksys Games. The cover picture belongs to the respective artist. Any song lyrics involved belong to the original musicians. Occasional references from other series and fanfics belong to the original owners. Please understand, and support the official release.**

* * *

"Okay. If I put it like this… no, no, no, that'll be weird in so many levels. What if like this… nope, that won't do good. This…"

"Hoi hoi Junpei!" Santa scolded the other guy as he pulled Junpei's ear with his all might.

"Etetetetetetetetetetet!" Junpei subconsciously responded to the external impulse. "Just what's it too ya, Santa?!"

"Are you making a blueprint of a birthday cake or a wedding cake?!" Santa protested. "I mean, why the heck there are two people on the top?! Not to mention they're wearing white dress and black tux—"

"It can be both birthday and wedding cake!" Junpei exclaimed happily. "I mean, Kanny and I are getting married!"

.

.

.

Ting…

"Wait, what? What the f—"

"Seriously, Santa! I've even prepared myself with a special ring!" Junpei pulled out a red velvet box out of his pocket. In the other hand, rows of 'nope' were already marching on Santa's brain. _Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope*deep inhale* nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope *deep inhale again*…_

"It's okay, Santa," Junpei's face turned _**slightly**_ more serious all sudden. "I _**am**_ aware that you got some kind of hardcore kid sis complex, and it _**is**_ a pain in my butt. But Kanny will be fine. I love her and she loves me. I won't hurt her in any circumstances."

"Okay, Junpei. I know that. I know you and Akane love each other. And I trust you about it. But you know how I am when it comes to my kid sis. I maybe an overprotective big bro, but that's just for her sake. So please don't do anything bad to her, Junpei."

"Okay. Then we're gonna be the most lovey dovey-est couple ever! We're gonna go out to the theme park every day, play fun games every night—"

Suddenly something stabbed Santa right in his childhood.

.

.

.

Ting…

"WHAT THE F—"

* * *

***commercial break***

_This is a pencil._

_This is a mint candy._

_Instead of biting a pencil…_

_You better bite a mint candy :)_

"What the hell are you doing?" Santa commented.

***end of commercial break***

* * *

"Come on, Akane!" Clover kept pulling the older girl's hand while running.

"Whoa, where are we going?!" Akane shouted at her.

"It's a surprise!" Clover answered with her usual happy-go-lucky demeanor. "You're gonna love it!"

They kept holding hands (d'awwww) as they entered a confectionary shop. The smell of candies and stuff kinda pierced in Akane's nostrils as if it was Seven's index finger (?!). Anticipating the overload sweetness, she closed her nose with her free hand that wasn't held by Clover's. Clover in the other hand seemed like she finally found her paradise.

"CANDIES!"Clover exclaimed happily. "Choose the one you want, Akane!"

"Uh, no thanks," Akane refused politely, trying not to piss Clover off.

"Oh, come on! I know that you want to look good in your birthday, so Junpei will be impressed on you," Clover told her. "But it's not like you'll get fat or what! You're not even any thicker than a tree branch!"

Akane remained silent…

Clover's recent sentence stabbed right in her reality…

"Seriously, I'm jealous of you. I mean, I'm just so chubby, aren't I?" Clover looked at her reflection on the glass window at the shop.

"Then, why don't you just go on a diet?" Akane asked her. "Why are you hanging out in a confectionary shop?"

"I'm too lazy for a diet! I wanna be skinny like you or Snake, but I just can't help myself when it comes to candies."

"*Sigh*, then maybe you're supposed to work out harder."

"I guess you're right…"

Suddenly, there was a tone that sounded peculiarly like the Steel Samurai theme song. Akane was surprised, then she found out the source of the voice was Clover's cell phone. The phone owner, without even glancing at Akane's dumbfounded expression, then answered the call and spoke, "Oh, hi, Snake."

* * *

"Hurry up, you gorilla!" Lotus scolded the guy carrying all the groceries behind her.

"Easy for you to say, mad woman!" Seven replied her. "You're just dancin' 'round the streets, being pretty and all. I'm the one responsible for all the stuff here!"

"Uh, uh, my hands are full," Lotus showed off the two apples on her hands each. "And I'm just a little, delicate lady. I can't carry so many heavy things like you do. And you're the gentleman, aren't you, Seven? You're not supposed to force me to carry all the groceries."

"Lady? Heh, you're anything but lady."

"Well, if you want to blame anyone for the groceries, blame Junpei. It was him who gave a very long shopping list for June's birthday. Not that he's going to pay these things, I'm pretty sure of. He's such a pain, isn't he?"

"Heh, you're right, lady. I'll kick his butt after we finished."

"Psyyyyych," Lotus chuckled. "Now you're calling me lady."

Seven murmured to himself and switched his glare away from the female in front of him. But somewhat he stumbled over some stubby, tiny pebble—probably because he couldn't see well his surroundings due to the groceries bag getting in the way of his view—and almost dropped his burden to the ground. Fortunately for Lotus, she could managed to get one of the grocery bags—the lighter one, of course. She then decided to help Seven carry the groceries. He was astounded by her sudden attitude change.

"It's… it's not like… I'm worried about you or anything… you dumb gorilla!" Lotus anxiously explained. "I'm just… if the groceries fall out… Junpei will be mad at us… right?! Also… there are some fruits… in the bag I'm carrying… So I think… I can have some apples…!"

Seven simply smiled at her and mumbled, "Thanks anyway, Lotus."

_Lotus, you tsundere, ho ho ho ho ho…_

"WHO'S THAT?!"

* * *

"I suppose we are currently progressing in decently adequate pace," Snake explained. "Clover is still keeping her busy, while Seven and Lotus are already going home from shopping."

"How about you, Junpei?" Ace asked the kid who was still drawing his stuff.

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…" Junpei sighed. "No good…"

"He hasn't finished designing the cake yet," Santa said about the other guy's situation. "Anyway, Junpei, why don't you just search a picture of a cake you can use? I mean, it's easier than designing the cake yourself. I mean, Akane doesn't really expect much from you, does she?"

"Uh, is that a mockery or compliment? Or just description?"

"All of the above."

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…"

"Or let me just help you, Junpei," Santa offered. "Here's my idea. Since she's quite fond of rabbits, maybe you can make a rabbit cake."

"Great idea, Santa! I can make a figure of Kanny wearing cabaret outfit!"

.

.

.

Ting…

"NO WAY IN HELL! What do you think my sister is, huh?!"

"C'mon, Santa, of course I didn't mean it. I mean, she can just wear a bunny hat if it comes to cosplay."

"Junpei, you ask me for Akane's rabbit cosplay, my answer is no."

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…"

"Seriously, aren't you supposed to finish the design before Seven and Lotus arrive? They're gonna get here most likely—"

_Walk, walk fashion baby, work it, move that bitch crazy…_

It was actually the sound of the door bell, a sign of guest asking for entry.

"—now."

"I shall open the door for them," Snake offered as he walked to get the door and open it.

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…" Junpei sighed again.

"Seriously Junpei, stop that," Santa told him, despite that he was actually astonished by such a long sigh. It's probably a new record in Japan.

"JUNPEI YOU MOROOOOON!" Lotus raged as she went to punch the kid she mentioned.

"Yup, I'm innocent, I'm outta here," Santa raised his shoulder as he left the scene to anticipate whatever Lotus would do to Junpei.

"HELP! SAVE ME! KYAAAAAAA!"

* * *

***commercial break***

Clover was playing her pink 3DS. She was surprised when she saw a certain peculiar person in the 3DS. "Wait, is that me with bikini?!"

Santa in the other hand was struggling with his own game. "Ugh, what should I do here…?"

"Maybe you can put this one over here and…" Akane suggested. Santa then did as what Akane told him. When he was done, his eyes lit up like a 9-year-old boy who just got a candy. "Yes! I solved the shit outta the puzzle!"

Not long after that, an orange 3DS flew out of the window.

"Did you just get another bad ending?" Snake asked the big guy.

"Yeah," Seven answered. "This time it's the gal who looks like Santa."

"Hey Clover, I just got your good ending," Lotus said.

"Anyway, Ellie," Junpei started talking. "Isn't the commercial break kinda too long this time? When will we get back to the story?"

_Oh, okay._

***end of commercial break***

* * *

"Come on, Akane!" Clover kept pulling the older girl's hand while running.

"Whoa, where are we going?!" Akane shouted at her.

"It's a surprise!" Clover answered with her usual happy-go-lucky demeanor. "You're gonna love it!"

They kept holding hands (d'awwww) as they entered a confectionary shop. The smell of candies and stuff kinda pierced in Akane's nostrils as if it was Seven's index finger (?!). Anticipating the overload sweetness, she closed her nose with her free hand that wasn't held by Clover's. Clover in the other hand seemed like she finally found her paradise.

"Uh, why are we in a candy shop again?" Akane asked with unhappy demeanor. Her act was reasonable, given the fact that it was merely Clover who bought this and that, while she was just sitting and being awkward.

"That's it, screw my diets!" Clover yelped as if no one was around to hear her. "I really want the strawberry truffle badly!"

"Oh," Akane was about to said a thing. Clover looked at the other girl, noticing her.

"What is it?" Clover asked her.

"Can I get the dark chocolate, please?" Akane asked again.

"Oh, okay, just take anything that you want, I'll pay," Clover said to her, and then she made a call to someone's cell phone.

* * *

_Baby, baby, baby, all right… baby, baby, baby, ohhh…_

Santa could hear a ring tone from a certain annoying singer—it was his cell phone—when Lotus was already done throwing all of her rampage on Junpei. Then, without glancing at everyone else's dumfounded face, answered Clover's call to him. "Oh, heya Clover," he greeted the girl faraway. "'Sup?"

"_Are you guys done yet?!"_ Clover half-scolded. _"I'm already out of my money here! I don't know where else I should take Akane to!"_

"We haven't even made the cake yet, thanks to Junpei being so slow. Just take some cash from your account! I mean, you're freakin' rich, ain't you?!"

"_Don't say that like taking candy from a baby! I'm the one who keeps paying here! Anyway, we'll be home at 8, so make sure you're finish by then!"_

"Hey, taking candy from a baby ain't easy either. Stop whining like a lil' brat and go distract Akane already!"

"_Ugh, okay!"_

Still in the confectionary shop, a pink cell phone with 4-leaf clover decal suddenly flew to the air throughout the window.

Meanwhile, back in the house, Junpei was dumbfounded—probably because of Santa's ringtone. He was about to say a word, but then Santa cut, "Don't. Ask."

"So, we need 2 kilograms of wheat flour," Lotus explained while reading the recipe. "500 grams of sugar, 1 kilogram of sliced apples, 1 dozen of eggs, some whipped cream and cherry for the top…"

Lotus mentioned all the necessary ingredients, and when she finished, she asked, "Hey Seven, can you pour the flour, please?"

"Like this?" Seven poured the whole flour from the sack to the bowl. There was so much of it that some spread around the kitchen like flying dust.

"Not like that, you dumbass!" Lotus smacked the guy. "Don't you know something called scale?!"

"Let me do it!" Junpei offered himself happy-go-luckily. Then, with childish attitude, he poured the flour to a bowl on the scale. When the scale shows 2 kilograms, Junpei gave the bowl to Lotus.

"Good, then. Ace, are you done slicing the apples yet?"

"Not yet," Ace answered while still slicing the apples.

"Why don't you just ask Snake or Santa to help you?" Seven asked him.

"I cannot really sense while cutting fruits, I may remind you," Snake told him.

"Yeah, he's right," Junpei added. "Apples can't really make some ultrasonic wave and stuff."

"Okay, I'll help the geezer," Santa talked then. "Junpei, you go melt some chocolates."

"Yes sir! I mean, ma'am! I mean, boss! I mean pooba!"

"Just do it already!"

"Aye aye, senpai!"

* * *

"Whoaaaaa… genuine pink velvet boots! I haven't got this one yet!"

"The pink ruffles cardigan! I've seen it on a magazine!"

"This hat-shaped hair ornament looks so cute! Hey, there's a violet one as well! Do you want it, Akane?"

"Eh?" Akane who wasn't paying attention was slightly surprised.

"You can have that one over here!" Clover passionately answered while pointing at a violet hair ornament. That hair ornament looked like a small hat with white satin ribbon around it. It was also garnished by a daisy-shaped ornament, made of diamond. "I can have the pink one. It looks cute, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does…" Akane wondered. "I think it's _**too**_ cute, even. It's probably kinda too sophisticated for me."

"Come on, don't be shy! I'm pretty sure Junpei would think you look cute with it."

"Eh?"

"Stop 'eh'-ing! That's it. I'll give it to you as a gift!"

"T, thanks, Clover, but I'm not sure that it would really fit me…"

"Will you accept it or not…?" Clover put up does-this-look-like-a-face-of-mercy expression.

"Oh, okay, okay."

"Okay, then! It's already 7.40. I told Santa that we'd go back at 8, so I think we can already find a taxi for home now."

* * *

Lotus was finally handling the hard part of cooking by herself. Since she was the only female of the bunch—given that Clover was still out to keep Akane busy—she couldn't really rely on the others when it comes to cooking.

Or at least that was her original thought.

It turns out that Seven was surprisingly good at cooking. As she recalled, it was him who helped her most of the times in the kitchen. Despite of his comical act, he was actually the one who gave his hand to her the most. She thought that she wouldn't really do it well without him.

"Okay, okay, I admit it," Lotus accepted. "Turns out you're not an absolute moron."

"Gee, thanks, Lotus," Seven was somehow flattered.

"But… it's not like I already changed my opinion on you in 180 degrees!" Lotus was groggy this time. "You're still a gorilla, after all. And nothing can change that!"

Seven simply chuckled.

Junpei in the other hand already finished his design. "Ta-daaaa!" he exclaimed. "Kanny will be surprised once she sees this!"

"Hmmm…" Santa paid attention at Junpei's concept art for the cake. "It looks great! I approve this!"

"Hmmm…" Snake's hands were gesturing the paper drawn by Junpei. "This feels like a very astonishing artwork coming from you, Junpei."

"Coming from you, Snake, I feel very astonished," Junpei responded.

"Can I see it?" Ace asked the younger man. Junpei gave the paper to the old man, and the old man said, "It looks good."

"Good? That's it?"Junpei was somehow underwhelmed.

* * *

"Ugh, traffics sure stink," Clover muttered without caring whether Akane heard her. "I think I should text Santa about this."

"Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah…" Akane sighed. She touched the hair ornament Clover gave her. It still felt new, she thought. She looked outside the taxi. Rows of cars and other kinds of vehicles were crowded on the streets. "I wonder when we will get home."

"Don't worry, Akane. We're fine!" Clover tried to reassure the other girl. "It's just traffics. It's even beneficial to Junpei and the others, because they can still finish their surprise for you!"

"Yeah, but still—"

"We're gonna be fine, aren't we…?" Clover was with her does-this-look-like-a-face-of-mercy expression again.

"Yeah, yeah…. We're fine…. We're gonna be fine…. Ha ha ha…"

"By the way, I think we can listen to some music," Clover suggested. "You know, to buy time."

"Oh, okay."

Clover then put on her right earphone on Akane's ear, while the other one on her own. Clover then selected a song in her phone to play.

* * *

"Yosh!" Junpei clenched his fist. "First of all, thank you all for the help. Lotus, Seven, Ace, thanks for cooking the cake. Santa, thanks for helping to find the great design for Kanny's cake. Snake, thanks for supervising Clover so she could keep Kanny busy outside."

"Just start decorating already!" Santa interrupted his speech.

"Aye aye, Senpai!"

Junpei and Santa then started decorating the cake with any possible ingredients. Seven was cheering them up like a cheerleader. "GO GO JUNPEI! GO GO SANTA!"

"Shut up, will ya?!" Santa scolded him. "I need to concentrate!"

"But I need loud music!" Junpei objected.

"Here, take my iPod," Lotus offered. Junpei was confused when the elder adult lady gave the iPod to him. "There aren't that many songs that you're into though. But, at least you get what you need… right? It's not like… I'm concerned about you or what. If you can't finish in time… you'd ruin June's surprise."

"Awww, c'mon, Lotus," Junpei teased. "You _**are**_ worried about me, right? Just admit it already!"

"What? Of course not! Why would I get worried about you?! I just don't want you to mess up everything you've planned for June!"

"Seriously Lotus, you don't have to be concerned about me that much."

"Seriously Junpei, just start decorating already!"

"Aye aye, senpai!"

* * *

8.20 pm

_Walk, walk fashion baby, work it, move that bitch crazy…_

"WAAAAAAH!" Junpei jumped. "That must be Kanny and Clover!"

"Calm down, Junpei!" Santa told him. "It's already done!"

Snake on the other hand already opened the door for two young ladies. Clover and Akane then entered the house.

"Uh, Snake, why is it dark here?" Akane asked nervously.

"Ready?" Junpei gave his mark. "3, 4, 5!"

"You're counting it on the wrong way!" Lotus objected.

"That's such a poor excuse for a joke, sheesh," Santa commented.

"Okay, okay. 3, 2, 1!"

The lamp was turned on. A horde of confetti was spread everywhere. Sounds of trumpets and cheers were heard everywhere around the house. Then, everyone shouted, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AKANE!"

Akane was, of course, surprised. She had been going out with Clover that she didn't really expect everyone else would do this much for her. Maybe Jumpy and Santa, but the rest…

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KANNYYYYY!" Junpei ran quickly and hugged her tightly before Santa could stop him. Akane's body that wasn't ready suddenly fell to the floor on the back.

"J, Jumpy," Akane was nervous. She didn't know whether she should hug him back or release herself.

"Anyway, Kanny," Junpei stood up and pulled her. "There's something special for you…"

Akane looked at the 'something special' Junpei mentioned. It was a cake made by everyone else. The cake was 3-stack. The color was violet, Akane's favorite. On the top there was a figure of Akane herself, hugging a giant rabbit. On the middle stack, there were many flowers—mostly red roses. On the bottom, there were figures of everyone else—Junpei, Santa, et cetera. There was also a banner made of bittersweet chocolate—her favorite type of chocolate. The banner was written "Happy 22nd birthday Akane Kurashiki" with pink strawberry cream and 6-petal daisy on each top left and top right corners.

"You like it?" Junpei asked cheerfully. Akane nodded with a smile.

"Oh, also there's one more thing," Junpei talked again, this time with a rather serious expression.

"What is it?" Akane asked. Instead of verbally answering, Junpei pulled out a red velvet box out of his pocket. _No way_, she thought. As she expected, there was a ring in the box. The ring was a silver ring. There was a small, white pearl on the top. Junpei then kneeled in front of Akane, earning gasps of surprise from almost everyone around them. One of the exceptions was Snake. He confusedly asked, "What is happening here?"

"You gotta see it by yourself!" Seven exclaimed. Bu then he realized, "…Oh."

Another exception was Akane. She was too surprised to react beside from open mouth with her hand touching it, disbelieving the very man in front of her. Junpei blushed nervously, but he still managed himself to look serious. Then he asked the very most crucial question.

"Will you marry me… Kanny?"

* * *

_Ah, how I love to make cliffhangers. Ah, how I love to leave things unsettled. Ah, how I love to piss you off._

"Oh no, not a cliffhanger!" Junpei complained.

… _Wait Junpei, what are you still doing here? Never mind. Seriously, who in tarnation have been spamming the whole 999 archive with random Korean drabbles?! I mean, when I check it, the words are just like, "jshdusgfugb shdcuasbuf jsdgju"._

"Heh, how the heck should I know?!" Santa scolded.

_Shut up, Satan._

"It's Santa!"

_Anyway, happy birthday to Kanny! And welcome summer! *trumpets and cheers**confetti everywhere*_

"But hey, Ellie," Junpei said.

_Eh?_

"Will Kanny accept my proposal or not?" he asked. "Please say yes, Kanny!"

"No no no, don't do that!" Santa in the other hand objected.

"Uh…" Akane wondered. "What should I say…?"

_Uh, I guess I'll write about it muuuuuch much much later. I still have more fanfic projects to do. Okay, I'm outta here, bye._

"Wait, Ellie!" Santa cried.

"ELLIIIIIEEEEE!"


End file.
